Adopting as a same sex couple

Dan and Matt* tell us about their experience adopting as a same sex couple

 "We had just entered our thirties when we began the adoption process. After buying our own house, securing the jobs we’d always wanted and having our civil partnership, having a family felt like the natural next step. James* is now four years old, and he’s coming on in leaps and bounds. He loves nursery and adores reading, and his smile brightens up everyone’s day!

From very beginning to very end the adoption process took practically two years to the day! We had our initial meeting in October 2014, and went through panel in October 2015. We were matched with James* in December of the same year, and after a successful integration period our final court celebration was in October 2016.

The adoption process felt quite intrusive at times - but it was worth every moment, and we fully understood the need in ensuring our home was suitable, we were financially stable and that we were in good physical and mental health. We often joked how our social worker ended up knowing more about us than some of our friends! The whole team that worked around us were so supportive too - they were always at the end of the phone or an email, and we were genuinely looked after.

Our sexuality was never an issue. At panel we were asked how we would ensure a child placed in our care would have access to good female role models, but with such a supportive family around us already - and our own strong views on equality - we knew that this would never be a problem for us.

We wouldn’t change family life now. Yes, it’s tough juggling demanding jobs (NHS and Education) whilst arranging childcare and ensuring we get high quality family time together, but we make it work because that is our top priority - having a happy family home. 

Our advice for any prospective LGBT adopters wouldn’t be different to that for non-LGBT adopters: as a couple, fully talk through the situation with each other to make sure it’s the right time for you to make the commitment; be prepared to share a lot of information with social workers so that they can provide you with the right support; and be prepared to absolutely fall in love with the little one put into your care."

* Names have been changed for identity protection. The story has been written by a real adopter and the detail is factual.