“We wanted a big family so why not jump to three?!”

Wednesday 12 January 2022

Adopting Siblings – Matching.

“We wanted a big family so why not jump to three?!”

 “A sibling group of three; twins aged one and a little boy aged 2"  our adoption social worker casually dropped this into conversation as we discussed profiles. We knew that she had called to discuss with us a potential match. We could not have imagined how our lives were about to change!

On that morning, we were buzzing with excitement! Our adoption social worker was calling later that evening, as she had news. I was cursing my husband for not being home until late, I can still feel the torture of the waiting that day!

We had entered the process wanting to adopt a sibling group of two, based on our criteria, background experiences and support network our adoption social worker felt comfortable enough to discuss a sibling group of three as an option for us.

I remember nodding ‘yes’ immediately, we wanted a big family so why not jump to three?! Crazy?! I know!

All the other factors fit and were suitable. What did this sibling group look like? Where were they from? How old again? When can we meet them? Can we find out more information now? So many questions ran through my head.

My husband however, sat pensive on the sofa, staring at the phone, and blankly looking at me. I was nervous, was he about to say ‘no’?! I looked at him and then he finally spoke; ‘Can you send us some more information across?’ … I felt myself let out a sigh of relief.

We discussed the children with our adoption social worker and what the next steps may be, it would still be a long time until were able to read further information or even see photos, but we were happy to wait. After all, what was a few weeks to wait in the search for forever?

A few weeks passed and information was slowly dripped to us about the children, we had informed our social worker it was a ‘yes’. We were advised that there may be cause for the children to come to us through foster-to-adopt and that this may happen quickly.

This led to a frantic late-night trip to IKEA, late in September for a set of cots as we had not anticipated twins! However, we still had to wait another few months before they finally came home – at least we were well prepared!

We waited from March 2020 until September 2020 to be told about a potential match, for some couples this happens much sooner, and others wait longer. The wait is hard and can feel like it is never going to end! When it does though, those weeks of waiting for information are easily forgotten and replaced with a mix of excitement and nerves!